They want to know, without any doubt, that they are loved. It’s as simple as that. Without some action on your part, however, your love is just an unshared state of mind and they won’t know how you feel. “To love” someone requires action, not just thought. How you act to let your partner know she is loved is the most important skill you can have in a relationship. If you want your partner to know that you love her, you must take some action; you must do something that lets her know that you love her. You can be madly in love with someone who will never know if you don’t let her in on the secret—so you must say or do something to show her love.
In my earlier marriages I told my wives that I loved them. But no matter how strongly I felt the love, I learned that simply saying “I love you” was not enough. What is crucial to showing love is to regularly say and do things that let your partner know that she is loved. The easiest way to do this is to simply say out loud, or act on, every positive thought about her that comes to mind.
This chapter will describe the techniques that make it easy to speak and act so that your partner knows you love her. Initially, they may seem simplistic—until you start to notice the results. The next three chapters will improve communication between you and your partner—there really are simple rules
that can make discussing difficult topics easier. The final three chapters suggest ways you can adjust your behavior so that your partner, and you, are happier.