Mutual friends suggested that I ask a couples therapist to read A Clueless Man’s Guide To Relationships and tell me what she thinks. If you follow me at all you will soon learn that women are more favorably disposed to A Clueless Man’s Guide To Relationships than men; who usually fall between mildly nonplussed and wildly skeptical. So her interim comments during a chance encounter when she was half way through the book were disappointingly confirming.

What she didn’t say is that I may have the wrong title. But when she held the book up during a gathering of couples therapists a groan went up. If I remember correctly this group of therapists is divided into two camps concerning how to approach and engage the husband in counseling. She and one male couples’ therapist don’t believe in codling the man, while all of the others do. Apparently the consensus of the group is that men are too . . . something . . . to handle the truth about where they are and what needs to be done to fix it. I would guess this is also because they are usually the unwilling partner to the therapy.

Men are also more sensitive to anything that smacks of criticism and their defensive walls can become impermeable at the slightest threat. I have some sympathy for the men because I was the same; but it was the forceful presentation of the sad facts about my flaws that pushed me through to a better marriage.

Perhaps there is a body of research that proves this is the only way to successfully deal with men’s relationship problems; and perhaps there is further research that says you can’t even tell them they are the delicate flowers of the relationship without damaging the therapy’s chances of succeeding. I hope not.

At times, life can be tough: relationships can be hard. I would like to see the weaker sex in relationships (men) face the hard facts as well as they do in other aspects of their lives. And I would like to know that couples therapists are holding them to the task.